Katie No More
Sunday, April 30th, 2006As I right this, I am sitting on a bench in front of my apartment, enjoying this beautiful weather. And away we go.
Gay Icon Elizabeth Taylor is facing death after her heart began to fail. The actress is confined to her bedroom and her funeral is already being planned. Is anybody lucky enough to have her in the death pool? Because I think if anyone does, they are about to cash in big time.

Daniel Baldwin was arrested this past week for drug possession. As the story goes, the 45-year-old star - a member of the famous Baldwin family - was arrested on April 22, after police received a complaint about loud noise coming from a room at a motel in Santa Monica, California. When the cops busted in, they saw cocaine in the hotel room, and Baldwin is scheduled to appear in court on May 22.
The almighty Ryan Seacrest was interviewed by People Magazine this week. In the interview, Seacrest said that after he takes a shower, he turns off the water, rubs himself in baby oil, turns on the cold water for 30 seconds and then towel-dries. Am I the only one who uses baby oil for different reasons? Oh I kid.

Katie Holmes is no longer. The proud mom will now be forever known as Kate. According to Tom and Katie have decided that Katie will now be known as “Kate!” Tom says that Katie is a young girls name and her name is Kate now that she’s a child-bearing woman. Way to control woman Cruise-master.
This is one of the reasons why I love Fox television. They are having a new reality show on their programming schedule for the summer. The premise is quite simple. It will take 5 adult porn stars, and have them perform Shakespeare and other serious monologues on a stage, in front of a live audience in California, and the viewers will vote off someone each week. Can you imagine Jenna Jameson portraying Juliette and Ron Jeremy as Romeo? Oh thank god for Fox television.

One more story to report. Kelly Clarkson is on the way to the television. Kelly is the latest celebrity to give a testimonial on the infomercial for Proactive. Proactive is an acne cream that currently has a infomercial that features Jessica Simpson, Alicia Keys, Puffy, and Vanessa Williams. Good Job Kelly. Your career is blowing up like Britney’s pregnant belly.

You Know The Drill
Mango Out

























In what is my favorite story of the month, Paul McCartney’s wife Heather Mills is now in a wheelchair. The one-legged model had major reamputation surgery. She will be in the wheelchair for a few weeks and then recuperate on crutches. This comes a year after Mills’ prosthetic leg was allegedly knocked off by one of Jennifer Lopez’s bodyguards. Sue J-lo. Take her for every penny she has.