Mango Out

Yeah Yeah Yeah I know it has been almost a week since I updated last, but I have been busy with Christmas and work and everything, so away I go.
 

Oscar-winning actress Julia Roberts, who gave birth to twins two years ago, is expecting her third child, her publicist told People magazine on Friday.Roberts, 39, is due this summer, spokeswoman Marcy Engelman said on the magazine’s Web site (www.people.com). News of the movie star’s pregnancy first surfaced in the New York Post on Friday.Roberts, who won an Oscar as best actress for her 2000 role in “Erin Brockovich” and made her Broadway debut this year in “Three Days of Rain,” gave birth to twins Phinnaeus and Hazel in November 2004.  Good for her.  But please Jules baby, please pick a normal name for your new baby.  May I suggest mango.  Phinnaeus sounds like a pig’s name.
 

Former heavyweight boxing champion Mike Tyson was arrested and charged with driving under the influence in Arizona, police said on Friday.  “He has been charged with DUI (driving under the influence) and booked into the 4th Avenue Jail in Phoenix,” said a spokeswoman for the Buckeye Police Department, adding that Tyson was due to appear in court later on Friday.  Mike, all you had to do was lay some old hags at Heidi Fleiss’s stud farm and you go and do this.  Get your shizznit together brotha.
 

Singer Mariah Carey is appealing to the Patent And Trademark Office to ban porn star Mary Carey from trademarking her name, claiming their identical surnames could confuse fans.  The star’s company Automatic Princess Holdings claims Mary’s bid to trademark her name to use in adult entertainment products will confuse consumers.  Mariah claims the public is “likely to mistakenly associate the goods offered” by Mary with the singer’s “goods and services.”  Wow, I guess this goes in with the famous law suits against Michael J Cox, and Arnold Schwartzenpecker.  Ha, oh that old gag.

Michael Jackson is preparing himself for a return to showbiz with a series of comeback gigs in Las Vegas.  The star is in talks with concert promoters in order to relaunch his career, and has flown back to the U.S. to strike a million-dollar deal with show organizers. Promoter Jack Wishna says, “We are working on several projects.  “He is one of the greatest entertainers in the world and is poised to return to the top.”
Ok 2 more stories to report, and then it is time for me to get my drink on.
The National Enquirer’s Mike Walker reports that while partying at Area, Britney Spears accidentally lit the filter end of her cigarette, which flamed as she inhaled it. Paris Hilton watched it go down and gasped, telling the newly single singer, “Oh my God! Don’t you know that lighting a cigarette the wrong way and inhaling stops the blood flow to your private parts… and doing it more than once means you may never experience orgasm again!” A horrified Britney responded, “Oh, no!” and for the next ten minutes, kept asking everyone if they’d ever heard of such a thing and what should she do. The heiress finally admitted she was just kidding and told Spears, “but I had you going, didn’t I?” Britney then slapped Paris on the arm, and the pair started girlie-wrestling.  Oh that Paris, always down for a good time.
And finally,
The New York Post reports Lindsay Lohan was apologetic on a visit toScores West for three hours early Wednesday (December 27) after a leaked e-mail quoted the 20-year-old calling strippers all “whores.” Lohan said when entering the club, “I love strippers.” A tipster told the tab: “She got up on the stripper pole and began to dance with the Scores Girls with 400 customers cheering her on. Then, she joined her entourage of 15 in the VIP area, and got lap dances from many of the girls, including a special double-dance from two strippers at once. It was hot. But while everybody was drinking, Lindsay was not. It was strictly Perrier for her.  Wow I can not wait to see that movie at blockbuster.
 

 You Know The Drill
Mango Out

Happy Holla-days bitches.  It is on, like Grey Poupon.  Yeah I know it has been a few days since I last updated, and I know you are getting antsy, so this will be a big post.  How big you ask?  Somewhere between J-lo’s turd-cutter and Anna Nicole Smith’s knockers.  And away I go…
 

Donald Trump and Rosie O’Donnell are continuing their war of words in regard to the recent Miss U.S.A. controversy.  Trump and O’Donnell have been exchanging derogatory public statements, originally sparked by O’Donnell’s heated commentary on ABC’s “The View”.  It continued with Trump’s appearance on CNN’s “Larry King Live” last night and it’s getting nasty.  This, of course, all follows Trump offering Miss U.S.A. a second chance to get things right after she was accused of underage drinking, cocaine use, and a sort of lesbian relationship with Miss Teen U.S.A.  Trump chalked her scandalous behavior up to being caught up in the big NYC life, saying that the same thing happens to many.  Rosie O’Donnell clearly disagrees.  Tara Connor has now entered a rehabilitation facility in Pennsylvania.   Man things have really heated up ever since Rosie got on The View.  This is just classic Rosie.  Rock on.
 

In related pageant news, Miss Nevada, set to compete in next year’s Miss U.S.A. pageant, has been stripped of her crown after racy pictures of her surfaced on the internet.  The young woman was photographed topless and pants less as well as making out with other women.  I would love to show you those photos, but my sponsors would not approve.
 

NJ Resident P. Diddy and Kim Porter welcomed twin baby girls yesterday.  The girls, named after Diddy and Porter’s grandmothers, are D’Lila Star Combs and Jessie James Combs.  Um, Ok.  They are just bringing up Jessie James Combs to be a bank-robbing thug.  And don’t even get me started on D’Lila.  Ponderous F’n Ponderous.
 

Actress/singer Hilary Duff has been transformed into a Barbie doll, after already designing clothes for the fashion doll.  The star, who recently split from Good Charlotte rocker Joel Madden, joins Reese Witherspoon and Beyonce Knowles in being immortalized as the iconic doll.  I already ordered mine from amazon.com.  Hey now.
 

Pop star Britney Spears is celebrating being single again by getting a new tattoo of a small star on her right hand.  The singer, 25, recently apologized to fans for her hard-partying ways, but has not cut down on her nights out on the town.  The star and a group of friends, including her 15-year-old sister Jamie Lynn, hit Devil Doll Tattoo & Body Piercing in Studio City, California on Tuesday.   The singer, who has two young sons, Sean Preston and Jayden James, was seen sporting disheveled hair and constantly adjusting her wayward bra strap while she was getting the new tattoo.  OH Britney, when are you going to learn that you will never, and I mean never regain your crown as pop princess if you continue to ink up your body and show your cooter.  Get It Together Sistah.
 

OK 2 more stories to report. 
The Sex and the City movie is back on! The ladies have come to an agreement and Kim Cattrall told Star magazine that the movie will happen!  OK um, 2001 called they want their hit show back.  It is just 2 years too late.
 

And finally, another nice Britney Spears story to end my update.  Britney Spears is moving on! She just bought a $7 million place in Beverly Hills! The house has 5 bedrooms, pool, library, media room and maids quarters.