Happy Wednesday Kiddies, and away I go. Man am I getting older and grumpier. I am turning 32 in a couple of days, and I am not dealing with it well.

Happy Monday kiddies and away I go.

I hate to bring everyone down for my first story of the day, but here it goes.   Owen Wilson was hospitalized yesterday after attempting suicide! Star Magazine is reporting he sliced his wrists and took a lot of pills. He is the hospital still and in stable condition. Oh wow. I never saw that one coming. I guess he has some issues to work out.

American Idol runner up, Blake Lewis, signed with the same label as Jordin Sparks. He is planning on releasing the album later this year. I think I might be downloading some of The Human Beatboxes tracks for my Ipod, I enjoyed him on AI.

Lindsey Lohan copped a plea deal yesterday. In a statement she admitted to being addicted to alcohol and drugs. She pleaded guilty to 9 misdemeanor charges. By law, she has to serve a minimum 4 days in jail, but because she had already served time when she was arrested, the judges ordered her to one day in jail. She must serve the day by January 18th. Just one day? Wow. Lucky!

Speaking of lucky deals and celebrities, Nicole Ritchie got the deal of all deals. She checked in and out of jail in 82 minutes!!!!! Damn, 82 minutes. Are you sure she didn’t escape through the jail bars, because she is sooo damn skinny?

The active investigation against Britney Spears for child abuse may have been started from a complaint made by her ex Kevin Federline. The L.A. County Department of Children and Family Services is conducting an investigation against the pop star after allegations of neglect ended up in legal papers filed Monday by K-Fed’s attorney, Mark Vincent Kaplan. However TMZ.com reports the complaints against Spears are not for physical abuse, but there are allegations that her two sons have poor dental hygiene, sleeping and eating habits. Yeah, good call K-Fed. Kick her where it counts, with her Kids.

2 more stories to report than I am done for the day.

They have announced the new celebrities to participate in Dancing With The Stars, and the level of star power is definitely growing. This season they will have Aaron Carter, Wayne Newton, Mel B from the Spice Girls, Jane Seymour, Tori Spelling, Jennie Garth, Floyd Merewether, Nia Peebles and Lou Ferigno? Wow. 2 people from 90210, And a Spice Girl? I am totally there.

And finally,

Singer/actress Willa Ford has married hockey star Mike Modano after a four year on/off romance. The Dancing With The Stars alum, 26, and Dallas Stars player, 37, wed on Saturday in a private ceremony on an Athens, Texas ranch. Ford, who previously dated Backstreet Boy Nick Carter, walked down the aisle in a bridal gown she designed herself.  The couple announced their engagement in November. Wow, that is just fantastic. Good for her.

You Know The Drill

Mango Out

Happy Wednesday aka HUMP DAY kiddies, and away I go.

Joey Fatone, who also did Dancing With The Stars, has a new gig. He just signed on with the TV Guide channel to host red carpet arrivals at shows like the Emmy’s and Oscars with Lisa Rinna on the TV Guide Channel. Wow it appears that Dancing With The Stars is a good vehicle for people. Slater, Jerry Springer, now Joey Fatone have all had success after the show. Good for them.

Star Magazine is reporting Tom Brady and Giselle are planning to get married some time this winter. Eh, Giselle, she is totally old news. 1999 called they want there supermodel back.

Chris Brown was attacked by fans in London the other day. They came from both sides of the street and tackled him and tried ripping off his clothes. Don’t when you hate it when that happens to you. Because I know it happens to me on almost a daily basis.

MTV announced more performers for the MTV Video Music Awards on September 9th. They include: Nelly Furtado, Gym Class Heroes, Lil Wayne, T-Pain, and Common. They join already announced performers: Kanye West, Timbaland, Fall Out Boy, Chris Brown, Amy Winehouse, Foo Fighters, and Rihanna. One of the big acts they signed is a duet between Madonna and Justin Timberlake. Now that should be interesting.

Ryan Seacrest will host the Emmy Awards September 16th in LA on Fox. Hum, that would be like Simon hosting a personality contest. Or Paula hosting a Sanity contest. Or Randy hosting a speedo wearing contest.

Actor/comedian Bill Murray could face a drunk driving charge in Sweden after he was found cruising around in a golf cart in downtown Stockholm. The star was stopped by police in the early hours of Monday morning and alcohol was smelled on his breath, according Stockholm police Detective-Inspector Christer Holmlund. Holmlund says, “He refused to blow in the (breathalyzer) instrument, citing American legislation. So we applied the old method - a blood test. It will take 14 days before the results are in.” Murray - who was in the city attending a golf tournament - signed a document admitting he was driving under the influence and permitted a police officer to enter a guilty plea on his behalf if the case goes to court. Well that is just fantastic. How Mel Gibson of him.

Music biz insiders are shaking their heads in disbelief after troubled pop star Britney Spears rejected the idea of recording a duet with former lover Justin Timberlake, according to reports. The singer, who is being called “sick” and “crazy” for her decision, was scheduled to reunite with her old flame to produce a comeback track produced by Timbaland, but backed out at the last minute. A source tells PageSix, “Timbaland set aside a week out of his crazy schedule to do this - and then, just before she was supposed to fly out, Britney abruptly canceled the session and refused to do the song. Um. Has Britney gone Coo coo Bananas? I thinks she has got to lay off the stupid pills.

And finally,

Well it appears that rapper Foxy Brown is going to jail. TMZ.com reports the rapper, who is three months pregnant and engaged, was ordered to serve time for violating her probation.

Foxy will be in the slammer until her next hearing on September 5. Her new home will be at a women’s jail on Rikers Island. The MC has been on probation for a 2004 assault involving two nail salon workers. Last week, she was accused of lying to police during a traffic stop - only a day after surrendering to authorities for allegedly assaulting her neighbor. The star was stopped by officers in New Jersey on August 15 for talking on her cell phone while driving and failing to stop at a stop sign. She was issued with seven traffic tickets. The incident came just one day after surrendering to authorities for allegedly assaulting her neighbor, Arlene Raymond, who Foxy is accused of assaulting with her Blackberry phone in an altercation reportedly stemming from the volume of the rapper’s car stereo in Brooklyn. Oh that Foxy Brown. Knocked up and in the slammer. Hey I think I saw a movie about that once.

You Know The Drill

Mango Out

Happy Monday my loyal readers, and away I go.

Happy Thursday Kiddies, and away I go.

Amy Winehouse has checked out of rehab! She checked out yesterday and reportedly took an immediate helicopter to London for a brain scan. Word is she suffered a seizure during the overdose this past weekend. God how Lindsay of her. That is just not right. Go Back Wino…We will not judge you, just get the help you need.

This next story is about my favorite Mary. Ryan Seacrest will the host a portion of the Super Bowl this year on Fox. He’ll do a red carpet type pre-game on Fox and also host the half time entertainment. The Super Bowl will be at the new stadium in Arizona. Good for him. Leave it to Ryan Seacrest to butch-down the Super Bowl.

Nicole Ritchie and Joel Madden will get married next month on Lionel Ritchie’s estate. My question is that will the nuptials be said before or after Nicole drops the soap in jail, or squeezes that watermelon through her peehole.

This story is kind of amusing. Fifty Cent supposedly smashed his office up after finding out his video for “Follow My Love” featuring Robin Thicke was leaked on to the internet before it’s October release.

Pictures are surfacing of Britney Spears and another woman (her former assistant) frolicking in a pool. Several woman, including pornstars, say they have either been kissed or hit on by Britney. They call Britney is a recreational lesbian Man Thank you Britney, Thank you very much. You never cease to amaze me.

Paris Hilton and sister Nicki are shopping themselves to Las Vegas clubs. They will appear at the club for $500,000 for the night. OK, Paris, I will give you 20 bucks, some nasty cheap champagne, some cherry flavored condoms, and some nose candy. Deal?

And finally

God, is the Hollywood pool to dip your mule in getting smaller and smaller. John Mayer gets around. First he’s seen having lunch with Mandy Moore and now there’s word that he’s moved on to Justin Timberlake’s old flame Cameron Diaz. 29-year-old Mayer and 34-year-old Diaz were seen out and about Tuesday night in New York City, according to Us Weekly magazine. The actress is in the “Big Apple” filming the new comedy ‘What Happens in Vegas.’ Well isn’t that special. Does this mean now that Justin and Jessica Simpson will now date.

You Know The Drill

Mango Out

Happy Tuesday kiddies and away I go.  Sorry about the delay, I have been BUSY.
 

In the does anybody actually give a damn department, David Lee Roth and Van Halen are doing a reunion tour.  People are taking bets on how long it will take for Eddie and David to get into an altercation.  The band has a new member, Wolfgang Van Halen, Eddie Van Halen’s 16 year old son who plays bass.  The kicker is that Eddie’s ex-wife and Wolfgang’s mother, Valerie Berteneli will be going on tour as well.  Well that is kind of interesting I guess.