Happy Saturday morning kiddies and away I go. Before I start, can I just say, can it be any prettier outside?

The Saturday Night Live premiere is tonight with Lebron James hosting and Kanye West performing. Kanye is filling in for Amy Winehouse who cancelled all her shows. I know I reported this earlier, but Lebron James is not a big enough name to host SNL. It was bad enough they recently had Eli Manning and Lance Armstrong host.

Well I think she will fill out the superhero costume beautifully. Jessica Biel is in talks to become Wonder Woman in a new movie. Yes, that is definitely, Wonder-ful.

Model Josie Maran was the first to be voted of Dancing With The Stars last night. Oh thank god that my 2 favorites, Kelly from 90210 Jennie Garth, and Scary Spice are both still in it. Mel B, AKA Scary Spice was fantastic in her leopard print leotard.

Well this is another case when celebrities get off super easy. A North Caroline judge sentenced Uncle Kracker to 12 months probation and fined him $1,500, after he pled guilty to misdemeanor assault charges. Kracker - real name Matthew Shafer - was arrested in August in an Embassy Suites hotel in Raleigh, North Carolina, after a 26-year-old female approached an off-duty police officer in a nightclub and claimed the star “had committed a sexual act against her while she was inside the establishment.” Kracker must also undergo an assessment to determine if he’s addicted to alcohol. My vote is yes. He seems like a drunk to me.

2 more stories, than I am going to enjoy the weather. Former NSYNC star Joey Fatone has offered troubled pop superstar Britney Spears a sanctuary at his Florida home. The singer, who was one of Spears’ closest friends when she started out in the music business, recently admitted he was shocked by her performance at the MTV Video Music Awards earlier this month . And Fatone has now offered Spears, who is in the middle of a much-publicized child custody battle with ex-husband Kevin Federline, a place to recuperate out of the spotlight. He told the ladies of The View recently, “Poor girl, she needs some help. Come over to my house and my wife’ll whip her into shape. Come back to Orlando and take a break for awhile, from LA and stuff.” Way to step up Fat-1. Where is Justin when you need him.

And finally, Madonna. the Beastie Boys, Leonard Cohen and disco group Chic are among the acts on the ballot for next year’s Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame induction. The quartet will join the “Glad All Over” band The Dave Clark Five, Afrika Bambaataa, John Mellencamp, The Ventures and Donna Summer, among others, after they were announced as nominees on Thursday. Five acts will be inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland, Ohio. Wow, it would be fantastic if both The Beasties and Madonna were inducted the same year.

You Know The Drill

Mango Out

Happy Wednesday, and no jury duty for me for the next 3 years. And away I go.

Bridget Moynahan is on the cover of OK! Magazine with Tom Brady’s new baby, John Edward Thomas Moynahan. She supposedly sold the pictures for $100,000, which she donated to a charity, and was asked numerous times about Tom Brady. Good for her to donate the money to charity. I don’t think Britney or Paris would ever do that.

Keifer Sutherland was arrested the other night for DUI. Reports this morning say it’s the fourth time he was busted and will face the same judge that sentenced Paris Hilton to 45 days for the same charge. I wonder how long he will be sentenced? Maybe, 24 hours.

Well I would have never thought he would have mentioned on this topic but. Comedian Drew Carey is showing tough love to Owen Wilson following his alleged suicide attempt last month - because he is convinced the ‘Wedding Crashers’ star could have avoided the ordeal if he had confided in his friends and family. Carey, 49, admits he has attempted to take his own life on two previous occasions by overdosing on drugs, and believes it is his own experiences with suicide which enable him to relate to 38-year-old Wilson’s troubles.  But he claims the best cure for depression is to talk about it more openly. I never knew that Drew attempted to take his own life, I thought he was always happy.

Usher and his pregnant wife, Tameka Foster, are expecting a baby boy in the fall.   The R&B singer confirmed the exciting news to the TV show Extra. This will be his first child and Tameka’s fourth. Wow, four kids for Tameka. It might be about time to get your tubes tied suitey.

2 more stories to report than I am out the door, for sure.

Comedienne Sarah Silverman has defended her joke about Britney Spears’ kids - insisting she doesn’t know what the fuss is all about. Silverman appeared on the MTV Video Music Awards recently – and some of her jokes were about troubled singer Britney Spears. Her most controversial remark was calling the pop star’s kids, Sean Preston, two, and Jayden James, one, the “most adorable mistakes you will ever see.” However, Silverman is stunned anyone was offended by the remark. She says, “The joke that everyone was upset about - me calling the kids ‘adorable mistakes’ - was the most innocuous joke. It never occurred to me that would be deemed hurtful or over the line. How can she be amazed though. She tore Britney a new butt hole.

And finally, Jay-Z wants his very own arena in New Jersey - named after his Rocawear clothing brand. The hip-hop star, 37, is currently in talks with The New Jersey Sports and Exposition Authority (NJSEA) over naming rights of the arena in Meadowlands, which is currently held by Continental Airlines. The rapper - who owns a portion of the NBA team the New Jersey Nets - will face stiff competition from rival fashion brands Izod and Southpole, but the eventual sponsor can expect to pay more than $600,000 a year for the naming rights. Good for Jiggah, he deserves it. He is a marketing Genius.

You Know The Drill

Mango Out

Happy Monday Kiddies and away I go. So am I the only who can get injured at a strip club, but boobies were not involved.

Happy Wednesday Ladies and Gents, and away I go.

OJ is scheduled for arraignment this morning is Vegas. He is being charged with a long list of charges, including 1st degree kidnapping. If convicted of all the charges he could spend the rest of his life in jail. Police are still looking for two more suspects. Another odd twist in the case happened yesterday when one of the guys victimized by the raid had a heart attack yesterday and is in critical condition. Oh that OJ. He is always down for a good time.

The judge came down hard on Britney yesterday ordering her to go under alcohol and drug testing. She also has to meet twice a week with parenting counselors and go under random testing at least twice a week. K-Fed was told he can not drink at least 12 hours prior to being with the kids. Wow, Judges suck. He can just suck all the fun out of K-Fed and Britney’s relationship.

Kanye West outsold 50 Cent 957,000 to 691,000 in there first week of album sales. Time for 50 Cent to retire! Maybe he can join Ja Rule and Nelly in the unemployment line.

OK, 2 more stories to update than I am off like a prom dress.

So I Tivo’ed Oprah today, and I learned a couple of things. Two things I learned on The Oprah Winfrey Show Wednesday:

1. Jessica Biel smells lovely and

2. Justin Timberlake has no idea what is going on with his first love Britney Spears.

The “SexyBack” singer told Winfrey that he is dating someone (he has been spotted with

Jessica Biel on and off since January of this year) and while he wouldn’t name names, he did admit, “But all I can tell you is she smells lovely.” When pressed a little more, he confessed that he sings to his new girlfriend and when they’re far apart, he relies on modern technology (an iChat webcam for example) to get him through. “I get pretty romantic around her. Technology is a wonderful thing sometimes. I find that to be really cool, when you can actually see someone’s face. I do it with my friends, as well, just to have a conversation back and forth. It just makes you feel closer, that’s all.” Winfrey also inquired about his past love, former Musketeers Britney Spears. “What do you think is going on with Britney?” she asked. “I don’t know, to be honest with you,” he said. “I haven’t spoken to her in years. I mean, there’s no ill will – I have nothing but love for her. It’s funny because we dated each other at a time … wow, I haven’t talked about this in a long time. It’s interesting. We were teenagers, you know?” Well I know what is going on with Britney. She has flat-out lost her marbles.

And finally,

Rocker Joel Madden says he plans to marry his pregnant girlfriend Nicole Richie.

“Obviously, marriage is in our future,” the Good Charlotte front man told Ryan Seacrest on his KIIS-FM radio show in Los Angeles Tuesday. “I don’t know when or where or how, but right now our priority is our family and is the baby. … We are in love and are really happy.”

Richie and Madden first announced they were expecting on Good Morning America in late July, People magazine reports. “Yes I am. We are. I’m almost four months,” Richie revealed. “We are all really excited about it,” Madden told Seacrest. “It’s the best thing that has ever happened to us. It’s awesome.” Ya know what is really awesome? Weighing in at over 110 lbs. Way to rock it out Nicole.

You Know The Drill

Mango Out

Happy Monday Kiddies, and away I go.

Well it is about time, and might I say it serves the guy right. OJ Simpson is in jail this morning after him and a bunch of guys stormed a hotel room and stole a bunch of sports memorabilia. Hold on while I laugh my ass off over here. This is just classic.

So who watched The Emmy’s last night? I did, and I was totally disappointed with my main man Ryan Seacrest. He sucked more than a Hoover vacuum. Here is a list of the big winners:

The Sopranos won for Best Drama

Best Actor in a drama went to James Spader with Boston Legal

Best Actress in a drama went to Sally Field

Best Comedy went to my favorite comedy 30 rock

Best Actor in a comedy was Ricky Gervis for Extras

Best Actress in a comedy went to the lovely America Ferera

Britney and Kevin are in court today, fighting over the kids, and a huge bombshell was dropped. The LAPD has denied internet reports that they are looking into an alleged hit on Kevin Federline’s life. Entertainment Tonight reported Monday that the FBI was also involved in an investigation, and that they had even attempted to inform Britney Spears’ ex-husband that he may be in danger. Wow, things just got quite interesting with The Britney Baby Drama.

Speaking of The Britney Baby Drama, Britney Spears’ former bodyguard Tony Barretto has dropped a bomb in the ongoing custody war between the troubled pop star and her ex-husband Kevin Federline. Los Angeles attorney Gloria Allred, who is representing the “mystery witness,” says the allegations against Britney include “drug use, nudity and safety issues involving the children post-rehab.” Outside an L.A. courtroom Monday, Allred says that Barretto is “very concerned” about the safety of Spears’ two boys, Sean Preston, 2, and Jayden James, 1. Barretto worked for Spears earlier this year, but was fired on May 17. Although Barretto was prepared to testify Monday, he was not cross-examined by the court or Britney’s attorneys. However, Allred claims her client’s charges are “highly explosive.” Wow I am still amazed by all this drama.

Newlyweds Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott are in talks to star side by side in the Broadway musical “Chicago,” according to reports. If they agree to make the move to New York City , the couple - who met on the set of the TV movie ‘Mind Over Murder’ - will become the show’s third husband-and-wife team, after Amy Spanger and Michael C. Hall, and Lisa Rinna and Harry Hamlin. Donna Martin can not graduate or stay sober at her prom, what makes you think she can sing and dance.

And finally,

Colombian pop superstar Shakira has gone back to school to study the history of western civilization. The singer has quietly enrolled at UCLA, where she has been taking history classes for the past month. According to website Peopleenespanol.com, curvy Shakira is studying with revered professor Robert Cleve. Good for her, As long as she does not study her ass off. It is just a delectable ass.

You Know The Drill

Mango Out

Happy Thursday Kiddies and away I go.

This flipping rocks. Jon Stewart was confirmed as the host of the Academy Awards on February 24th. Oh boy, it is going to be good. Jon is just hilarious. I heart The Daily Show.

In the battle of the egomaniacal rappers, we appear to have a winner. Based on early returns, Kanye West’s CD is outselling 50’s CD. He’s on track to sell about 700,000 copies in his first week. 50 on the other hand will be selling a disappointing 500,00 copies in his first week. Yeah, 500,00 is disappointing my ass.

I just read that the Britney Spears performance at the MTV VMA’s has been removed from MTV repeats and online! According to MTV they were “forced” to remove it! I wonder who forced her to remove Fat Britney’s performance. Maybe it was Fat Britney herself.

Justin Timberlake apparently worked it a little to hard in Vegas with the MTV Awards. He strained his voice and was ordered to rest his voice for at least seven days. He postponed shows this week already in Sacramento and San Jose. Maybe he was too busy having Jessica Beil’s tongue jammed down his throat?

Tommy Lee has written an apology to Alicia Keys and MTV for the fight that happened between him and Kid Rock during Alicia’s excellent performance. He says he was minding his own business when he got a tap on the shoulder and got slapped by “Kid Pebble.” When is Tommy going to apologize to me for ruining my manhood? I mean did you see his mule?

2 more stories to report than I am done.

I think that my favorite new starlet is getting a little big for her britches. Or maybe she is just embarrassed. School Musical’ star Vanessa Hudgens is staying clear of the media spotlight after her nude photo scandal, and has canceled an appearance on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. The 18-year-old actress/singer was scheduled to be a guest on Thursday’s show, but a rep for “The Tonight Show” released the following statement to Access Hollywood: . Well good for her.

And finally, Heroes star Hayden Panettiere has split from her boyfriend Stephen Coletti, according to reports. The 18-year-old beauty ended her one-year relationship with the former Laguna Beach star earlier this month, but insists she and Colletti, 21, parted amicably. She tells Us Weekly, “We are still very close friends and talk to each other frequently. We appreciate and support each other’s careers.” From what I heard, Hayden Panty-dropper is now dating Milo her Heroes Co-star. And also that Stephen might be back together with LC. Ok, I made that up, but I am hoping it is true.

You Know The Drill

Mango Out

Happy Tuesday Kiddies and away I go. Just to let you guys know, I apologize about not updating for a couple of days, I have been under the weather.

Well where do I start. A bunch of theories on why Britney Spears screwed up so badly at the Video Music Awards are staring to rise. One says she was nervous and freaked out. Another says her original plan, of having magician Chris Angel join her on stage, was scrapped last minute because of liability issues. Another is that Chris Angel pulled out of the performance because Britney refused to rehearse. I have to say the performance was just a mess. It was the culmination from Britney’s fall from grace. And I enjoy it.

Well color me excited. Jennifer Hudson has signed on to appear in the Sex and The City movie. She’ll play the assistant to Sara Jessica Parker’s character. I was blown away with J-Hud’s performance in Dreamgirls, and I hope she can re-create that glory.

And you thought Britney was the only drama to happen at the VMA’s. How wrong you are. Tommy Lee says he was just minding his own business at the MTV Video Music Awards in Las Vegas when Kid Rock came up and punched him the face, TMZ.com said. In a posting on his Web site, TommyLee.tv, the rocker said he was in the front row of the show hanging out with magician Criss Angel when his ex-wife, Pamela Anderson, “who I love and adore,” approached and sat on his lap. “I get a tap on the shoulder from Kid Pebble,” he said of Anderson’s other ex-husband. “I stand up and embrace him with a semi-hug and say: ‘Hey, dude. What up?’ He punches me in the face… Well, if you wanna call it that! More like a b**** slap!” Well that is just oozing class for both of them.

David Letterman has opened his heart in a rare interview on Oprah Winfrey’s daytime talk show by gushing about fatherhood. Letterman says the birth of son, Harry, has made a “huge difference” in his life - although the three-year-old doesn’t understand his sense of humor. He tells his talk show rival, “Mommy has to tell him a lot that I’m just teasing.”  The 60-year-old also admits to struggling with “patience or discipline” with his son by girlfriend Regina Lasko. I plan on watching this tonight when I get home. It should be a good episode.

Disgraced movie star Tom Sizemore has begun serving time for probation violation in relation to a 2004 methamphetamine conviction. The actor was moved from Los Angeles County Jail to state prison, according to TMZ.com. The actor was sentenced to serve a reduced nine months sentence in June. Wow he is just a mess. I wonder if Heidi Fleiss had anything to do with his addictions.

And finally,

Kanye West wouldn’t be Kanye West if he didn’t have something to complain about and this time his target is MTV. A day after the MTV Video Music Awards held in Las Vegas, West told New York radio station Z100’s JJ, on Monday that he’s not upset about failing to bring home at least one moonman out of his five nominations, why he feels bad for Britney Spears and why he will never work with MTV again.

The Suite Life?: “I wasn’t mad that I just didn’t win any awards,” he says. “For me, [MTV] made it seem like performing on the main stage was a bad thing, and the suites were just so great. It was my dream when I made “Stronger” to open up the VMA’s with “Stronger” with a real power performance. I feel like I got betrayed by them. They opened with Britney. They opened with Justin last year and let him close the show this year, and he had his own suite.”

Speaking of Britney Spears: “Britney wasn’t ready and exploited her [by allowing her to perform]. They exploited Britney in helping to end her career. Way to look out for Britney Spears.” He went on to say, “When Britney was opening, near the end, I felt so bad for her. I said, ‘Man, it’s a dirty game. This game will chew you up and spit you out.’”

Man Kayne West is crazier than Britney I say.

That’s how I roll

You Know The Drill

Mango Out.

Happy Birthday to me, and happy Friday bitches, and away I go.  Why is it that the shorter weeks always seem to drag on the most at work?  Hum?
 

Happy Tuesday Kiddies, and away I go. Wait, when was the last time I did a big ole report? It was almost a week unfortunately. Well I was off of work on Friday, making it a 4 day weekend, and I was at the lake al weekend.